So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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