were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just invented taco cereal.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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