It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
