She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize