Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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