fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
