My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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