I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
