oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
