I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
