Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
