Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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