sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize