remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
