Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
