Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
