Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
