Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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