You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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