girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize