I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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