Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
