So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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