you turned your livingroom into a bong?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
