Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
