I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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