i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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