An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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