This girl is more easily done than said...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
