I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize