Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
