she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
