i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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