GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
