i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize