I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
that may or may not have been my penis.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
