i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize