STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
