I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
