TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
