I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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