did you get engaged???
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
