I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
