Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
