You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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