i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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