Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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