Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Randomize
