I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
