Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
did you just send me my own nude
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
