Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize