smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My vagina is very pro this idea
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
how does that bad decision feel?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
