Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
