Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
