Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My bed smells like the plague
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
