i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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