i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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