I hope mine doesn't look like that
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
