so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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