Got a toothbrush?
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Less talking, more tequila
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just gargled with NyQuil
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
