So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
