Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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