I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
