whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
