I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
