did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
