Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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